On Memorial Day weekend in 2008, my life as I had known it for 35 years came to an abrupt halt. I suddenly began to “see” in a brand new way.
Everything I thought I knew about myself (and life in general) came into question, catapulting me into an alternate reality that some would claim isn’t scientifically possible. What I saw, felt, and heard during this time is difficult to capture with the written word; it was as if my sixth-sense accelerator was pushed all the way to the floor for 9 months straight. Visions, voices, lucid dreams, and emotional extremes highlight a glimpse into what my reality was like during this time period. I felt like I had cracked open, causing a vacuum-like, “flooding in” of highly intimate and meaning-laden material that shocked me to the core.
Exactly 1 year later in May 2009, I landed in a therapist’s office with a broken heart and a shattered self-image. By then I had seen the inside of a courtroom (where I had to explain all of my unusual experiences that I had written down), endured a temporary separation from my family, and had thoughts of suicide. A descriptive image is that God had my life in a bowl that He suddenly turned upside-down, spilling out the contents for everyone to see (and judge). Sitting across from this therapist for the first time, I came face to face with someone who could actually see me for “me” and the magnitude of what I was facing. It was time to take a closer look at the meaning behind the crisis.
In the healing years that followed, I slowly grew to understand, accept, and work with my intuitive experiences instead of repressing them. What emerged was a deep, profound reverence for the many varieties of human expression, and a passionate desire to pay forward the gift I was given in therapy of a “safe haven”.
I believe there is tremendous value in the practice of being vulnerable, which is why I choose to share my story here with you.
By gently looking into what we are the most ashamed of within ourselves is where we will find our greatest gifts.
- Bereavement therapist at Hospice Austin
- Founding contributor of the Grof Foundation, http://groffoundation.org/
- Listed on the Spiritual Emergence Network, http://spiritualemergence.info/ as a provider of transpersonal therapy services
- Certified Positive Discipline Parenting Educator
- Member of Texas Counseling Association
- M.A. from St. Edward's University, 2014 ~ Counseling
- B.S. from Texas Christian University, 1995 ~ Special Education